


Collection Of Poetry

by JaxInTheBox



Category: Original Work
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22900084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaxInTheBox/pseuds/JaxInTheBox
Summary: This is poetry from over a year or more and from myself when going through life and hard times, breakups and taking back exes, my exes cheating, and suicidal thoughts and feeling hopeless. I hope some of these inspire you guys and know you can always get help
Kudos: 1





	1. 11

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings for mentions of drinking, death, suicide, self harm, and in general dark themes

Even without dying  
I'm still here crying  
As we parted  
And I'm brokenhearted  
You took me by surprise and for a spin  
With you, I could never win  
I'd never be happy and I discovered  
You lost feelings, as I had uncovered  
To my shock and disbelief, someone who said they loved me  
Ended up lying and left me be  
I was more than upset and angry  
And that's when I snapped with intense fury  
I hadn't planned for things to go how they did  
But I couldn't listen to anymore bullshit  
And now I sit here crying  
Thinking about me dying  
Cause I'm so tired of it all  
Not just when I had to fall  
But when I had to get back up again  
Things went down as if I committed a mortal sin  
It was odd and indescribable as when I thought I'd be better  
I'd fall again to my knees instead of being a go getter  
Yeah I was dumb and blind to take her back so many times  
I ignored all the excuses so now to get my feelings out I write poems with rhymes  
To say hey, I know what I did was dumb but is over now, and I guess I'm free, oh wow


	2. Disassociate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was with my one ex who said she stayed cause she felt bad for me and lost feelings a long time ago. The emotional hurt was unbearable.

I'm falling apart here   
I'm here but I'm not  
I'm watching myself from outside my body  
And I'm falling down

I'm crashing  
And not stopping   
No one to save me now  
The walls are caving in 

And I'm nothing but a sin  
I can't hold up these heavy weights   
They hold me down  
Like metal chains

And I can't see the light   
It's all dark why even try  
I can't and I wont  
Fight them anymore

They got the best of me  
My own demons  
I am a goner  
And I'm meant to be a loner

I will be alone  
Until my last breath  
It's ok I guess   
I'm ok with it

Cause I know I'm not fucking shit  
I know I'm not worth it  
You know it too  
Leave me be cause I don't need you

I need this   
I deserve it  
I am a piece of shit  
And I need to go

I don't deserve anything   
I can't help myself  
I guess I'm a lazy fuck  
Who only cares about herself

I don't wanna live  
I'm too terrified to carry on  
With this miserable life  
Don't miss me

Don't you dare  
You act like you care   
Please stop  
It's alright 

I'm giving up my fight  
Let the demons win  
Cause I'm nothing but a sin

I loved you so fucking much  
I Still do even with the consequence   
All I have for a last request   
Is to feel your lips on mine

As I say goodbye one last time   
Don't forget you were mine  
And you were always on my mind  
And you were worth it all

Even when I ended up in a bad fall  
I ended it all  
I loved you so much and I'm sorry   
Don't you worry

I'll be better off this way  
And you didn't have to stay


	3. Never Good Enough

No sleep I'm weak  
Not taking care of myself every week  
It's normal I'm fine  
OK yeah that was a lie  
I'm barely awake   
I start to shake  
And think of all my mistakes  
That I despise and hate  
I wanna die I realize  
But also don't   
I get this look in my eyes  
As I start to cry  
I'm sobbing alone  
Nothing ever will feel like home  
it's his fault who am I to blame  
this isn't a game  
not even close to it  
I guess I need to face it   
things have been going down  
I've been drowning for a while  
just now I start to stand  
trying to bring myself to land  
but, no I can't   
I can't do this not again  
let me go  
as I sink below  
don't miss me  
this is for the best I swear  
don't hate me   
this is for the better  
don't need me  
this is all my fault  
no one cares that's how it is  
that's all that it is right now  
I feel alone I'm trapped  
in my head  
I can't face it I can't face you  
but I need to leave too  
I'm sorry I'm sorry  
don't worry  
I'm fine I'm okay  
yeah I'm lying  
I'm crying I'm dying  
but its fine  
I'm used to it don't fear  
I'm still here  
I'm stuck I'm bound  
and I can't move  
I can't bring myself to tie a noose  
but I can't stand all this emotional abuse  
I can't take it longer  
I guess I am stronger  
than I was before  
but now I'm weak once more  
I'm falling I'm falling  
there is no floor  
I'm gonna keep falling and stumbling  
keep fumbling and fumbling  
yeah I tend to mumble and I'm mumbling  
I talk fast yeah that's what I do  
what do you want from me what for you  
I can't always be there  
why can't people see that  
I'm always taken for granted  
stop using me I'm not your puppet anymore  
don't pull my strings or break my heart  
trusting you am I sure I don't think so  
not with all the stuff you pulled with me


	4. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one was about a ex that was more recent?

Mind is blank  
An empty stare  
Into nothing   
Glaring at the wall  
Eyes burning   
Mouth dry  
Head hurts  
Chest pain too  
Heart feels broken  
Without you  
Things feel wrong  
Since you are gone  
And I cant seem to feel alright  
My chest feels tight  
I think I'll cry again   
I want you in my arms  
Kiss me till I cant breathe  
Hold me close   
Don't let go  
I cant lose you  
But it seems when I'm around  
When i find someone about  
They sure are found but I lose them what a sound  
I don't know why  
Its me I'm bad luck I'm sure  
But i can reassure  
I am a sweet girl who has love


	5. Always Gonna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back when me and her were together, i wrote her this.

I'm always thinking  
Always dreaming   
Sometimes it's hard  
Sometimes it's easy  
I can cry  
Or simply smile  
Just at a thought or two  
Of me and you  
Hold me in your arms  
I'm safe here this is home  
You're all I know  
Stay a while  
Please don't leave  
Come here, this is where to be  
Lay on me and get cozy  
Graze your fingers against my skin  
Lightly touching with your hands   
Sending chills down my spine


End file.
